Well, when I started this blog, I promised myself that I would be totally honest about all aspects of motherhood. I certainly don't want anyone to think that I am being negative or that I'm not loving being a mom, but I want to being reflective of my experience. I have been so appreciative of the people who have been "real" with me about their mom experiences. It has made me feel more normal (if such a thing exists). With that being said, last night might have been the worst night we've had since Caroline was born. Starting at 2 o'clock, Caroline was wide awake and fussing. The fussing became more and more intense until it was full-on crying. There were moments where my efforts at consoling her seemed to work and she was lulled into a newborn whine, but they were few and far between. Jeffrey woke up at 4:30 a.m. wondering what was going on and tried to help me calm her down by walking her around the house. She did calm down for a few minutes, but, again, it was short-lived. When Jeffrey left for work at 8, I wondered how in the world I was going to make it through the day with a crying baby that I could not help. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. At that time, I thought she would surely go to sleep in the next few minutes or at least hours. Well, at 12:30 p.m. she FINALLY went to sleep with my holding her for about 2 hours. She is now back asleep, but seems to be sleeping pretty restlessly. I keep checking her for fever and other signs of sickness, but she doesn't even seem to be having stomach pain. I'm really at a loss!
She is 1 month old today. She has changed SO much and come so far since her birth. She follows us with her eyes and is so active with her limbs. She holds her head up when she is on her tummy, and she even moves it from one side to the other. Who knew babies did that at such a young age! She loves playing on the play mat she borrowed from Cora Beth and Joseph Sheffield. What a wonderful toy. Right now her favorite toy on the mat is the rattle elephant. She bats it with her hand and smiles and "talks" to it. We spend so much time just watching her.
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